Afraid
:You got a way of easing me out of myself. :I can't stay but I can't leave, :I am my worst enemy. :Please understand that its not you, :It's what I do. :Just when I'm about to run :I realize what I've become. Chapter 1 - Legends In the beginning of cats ruling the Twoleg Place, there were two sides. Back then they were equal. They lived in peace and harmony, occasionally fighting. When there was a daughter and a son of each of the two leaders, they were given to each other as mates to ensure the sides that there was peace in the end. But there wasn't. Legend says that over 100 seasons ago, a mysterious cat entered the city. It was five generations ago and he let out the worst of the two sides. They engaged in a war and one side emerged triumphant-the side the strange cat was on. The loosing side had cats taken from it and had territory stolen. From there they suffered starvation and sickness. Their kits learned to grow up hating the very name of the cat. Drakon. He had but a single son, an orange eyed, black haired tom. Also named Drakon. The first Drakon died a while ago, but not before killing the leader of the other side. My grandfather. Hawk-eye lost his eye to the second Drakon in a fight where the arrogant fox-heart tried to steal all of Twoleg Place for his self. My father almost died, but defeated Drakon. Cobweb was born two days later. I was a little more then a moon later. When I was little I would make Hawk-eye tell me endless stories and myths. I think he made most of them up. I would swear to the stars that I'd be a legend someday, just like him. Now I just hope I can keep my 'subjects' safe from Drakon's wrath. My name is Firefly. Up until now, I was a key piece in uniting the two halves of the Twolegplace. Cobweb, Drakon's son, was to be my mate. We could still do it, but it is most probably too late. I made it until Cobweb actually asked me to be his mate. Then I....well....um, it was understandable....I mean.... I ran. I'm still running, matter of fact. I look back every few streets to make sure I'm not being followed. I can still hear the roar of the crowd, though whether or not I'm hallucinating, I have no idea. Hawk-eye, Lela. My parents, I left them behind. Cobweb, Cobweb....my best friend. How could they expect us to marry?. In my half of Twolegplace, at least we have the right to become mates with whomever we choose. We may starve and freeze and die, but it's with cats we actually care about. I care about Cobweb. But not enough, it seems. I skid to a halt and look back. I can still see the smoke rising form Drakon's camp, but the actual camp eludes my gaze. I can hear howls, so I assume they are sending cats after me. I'm too tired to keep running. I'm too scared to stay here. I'm in too much peril to merely walk and shaking to much to hide without giving myself away. I shrink against the brick wall, silently praying for anything, anyone to help me. The pawsteps get closer. Flashback. "Go!" I squeak. I'm 5 moons old. I can hear Cobweb giggling as he runs off, even if I can't see him. My paws are over my eyes which is kinda weird, but Cobweb is paranoid about things when we play Hide-and-Seek. Which is dumb because he has all the best hiding spots anyways. I count to ten slowly and then my eyes burst open, my paws drop back down to my sides. I take a deep breath of air and trot off. Cobweb may be the best hider in the city, but Hawk-eye says I have the best nose. I track my best friend's scent all the way to a dumpster. There I find his gray body in a plastic bag so only his head and front paws peek out. He's so still he looks like a statue. I poke him and he laughs, breaking the stillness. Took me a few minutes. A lesser cat would've needed over ten. "You're it!" I squeal, racing off. I can hear Cobweb count and I skid behind another dumpster, press myself against the wall and wait....I can hear his footsteps coming closer, closer, closer... I blink back a few tears (even though I'm not the type to cry) and push myself further against the wall, remembering, regretting... Why do parents have to ruin everything? Chapter 2 - Friend or Foe? I was scarcely breathing when he found me. Cobweb poked me and when I looked up, seeing my best friend, I couldn't help by give a wobbly smile and a shaky laugh. He grinned slightly too but there were still traces of hurt in his eyes. He's pride was probably just bruised...unless Drakon had already started to abuse his cats due to my flight. After I stopped, we just kind of stared at each other. I couldn't help thinking if I should claw him and flee, was he still the Cobweb I played Hide-and-Seek and Mossball with? Or was he a shadow of his father? I shivered. I never should've gone to that dinner. "Hey, Cobweb!" I hear another cat-one of Drakon's call. Cobweb turns. "Oh, um, yeah Thorn?" he stutters. I remember Thorn. Thorn caught a pheasant night, it fed....well it just really fed Drakon. But it could've fed three cats. And they all would've been full. Thorn comes into view. It's the first time I've seen him since at the dinner I was so preoccupied. He has short ginger fur with darker stripes streaking across his pelt. His paws are white as is his chest and muzzle. His green eyes spark with a playful energy. Most Wanderers are rugged and scarred, but Thorn seems to have retained his looks. I press against the wall once more. "You find her?" he peers past Cobweb, "Is she back there?" "Ye-" he sees me frantically shaking my head, "Nooooooo....She is not back here." Thorn stares at Cobweb disbelievingly and pads forward. Another thing about Cobweb: he can't lie. It's practically impossible. I have no idea how he'll become leader with that attribute. Leader's lie all the time. And they're good at it. Cobweb...when he started to lie, his tail droops and he can't look you straight in the eye (or even look at you for that matter). His words come out one syllable at a time, stilted and curt. Thorn paced til he was right next to Cobweb, right in front of me. He snarls, baring his teeth. I gulp. Cobweb gives me a look that he's given me many times. "Sorry." he mouths. I shrug back. "It's okay." I mouth back. He looks away. "Firefly, you'd better come with us." Thorn meows. "Your parents are worried and so is Drak-ah!" Cobweb has slammed into the ginger tom. He looks at me and gasps. "Go! Don't let them find you!" I nod, stunned for a second, the leap over Thorn, making sure to claw him a little. I race off into the night leaving the two toms scuffling behind. Three blocks away I can still hear their yowls. I find my way home after getting lost a few times. Without Cobweb to guide me, it's hard finding my way home. I'd never been to Cobweb's camp before this night and I have trouble finding my way back to the marked dumpster. The rusted white Twoleg goop on it is slowly peeling off revealing cold metal underneath. It's just been emptied from the looks (and smell, yuck) of it. I gasp underneath it for a few minutes, then claw my way up and into it. I fall down to the bottom and hit it with a clang!. I curl up, ignoring the pain on my side and in my heart. I wake up when the sun does, streaking into my makeshift den. I stretch, then hop out of the dumpster. A few cats are arguing over a dead sparrow outside and they freeze, they run when they see me. They look like kits and I guess it's not everyday a cat rises from the dumpster right next to you looking half-dead with trash in their pelt. I clean my fur first. The soothing rhythm of my licks help calm me. Then I eat the dead sparrow. It isn't bad, maybe a day or three old. Much better then what the rest of my cats are eating. I start to walk home. It takes me a while, but I know where I'm going now. I finally arrive at our camp. Unlike Cobweb, my side of town has it's own camps. Every cat for themselves. Which is probably why most of our cats are dead. When I was little I swore to change that, but now it just seems to big a task. I start to enter the alley we live in when Hawk-eyes grim voice stops me. "Stop." Chapter 3 - Thrown Out I turned and laughed. "I'm so happy to see you! I thought you were dead or hurt or that Drakon was-" "Leave." Lela whispers. "What?" I meow in shock, staring at my parents. Lela looks shaken and angry. Hawk-eye is looking at his paws. I can feel strong waves of disapproval coming from him. "Get out!" Lela cries. "Get off our territory!" "W-Why?" I stumble. "I was born here! I'll die here! This is my home." Lela's eyes are fiery. It's been so long since my mother's been angry with me that I've forgotten how strong she can be when rage fuels her. "Drakon is after your blood. You have dishonored your family. It'll be a miracle if we all don't get killed! And we most certainly will if you stay here! So get out, leave us!" she nudges Hawk-eye. "Right?" He just nods. Lela growls at me and enters the alley, tail held high. I look at Hawk-eye for some kind of reassuring this was a joke, a sick, sick, sick joke. He goes to follow my mother. "She's right Firefly." he mutters. "You have shamed us all. I'm very disappointed in you." he follows my mother's step leaving me out in the street staring at the only two cats who I thought I could trust now. It seems that my parents wasted no time spreading the word that I was unwelcome. Either that or cats just naturally hate me. Probably a mix of the two. I went to alleys, boxes, dumpsters, asking for shelter and help. I once even crawled into a sewer where an old cat who goes by the name of 'Hungry Joe' to ask him if he'd caught any drowned rats lately. He said no, then tried to eat me. It was tough getting out. I didn't like it, but as I trudged down the street, I considered that there was only one place left to go, the place no one would ever look for me... I can't help but think about my mother. Lela once told me a story about a clever little rabbit. He was being chased by hungry cats and he didn't want to be caught and killed. So he swerved and ran and jumped. But the cats were stronger and almost as fast as him. So he had to think of something quickly. He decided the if he could loose the cats, he could backtrack and hide in the cat's alley. No one would ever think to look for a rabbit in a cat's home! So he did, he jumped and squeezed through a tight opening. While his pursuers were climbing it, he ran as fast as he could, back the way he came. He hid in the cat's home where no one came to look. The lesson was supposed to be to think on your paws and that hiding somewhere no one will look is the smart thing to do. Of course, then Hungry Joe came by toting a dead rabbit. He grinned at us (a horrible sight-his teeth are black and gross) and the rabbit twitched slightly in his jaws, which kind of ruined it for me. But still. I sighed, turned, plodded back the way I came. I wasn't going to hide in my home, Lela and Hawk-eye would find me immediately. I was going to Drakon's. Chapter 4 - Abandoned Stalking through trash, I padded through Twolegplace. The sky that had been a deep blue was now becoming crowded by ominous black clouds. I ad with huge strides, taking it all in. The wind rustles through my fur and I don't shiver. My tears of anger, confusion, and loneliness have been swept away into the night. Tonight I am as powerful as the storm, the firefly lighting the dark sky. Cats in the shadows part in my wake and trash blows around me. I pay no attention. Though I am dangerous on the outside, on the inside I'm full of anxiety. Will Cobweb talk to me? He did save me after all. Will I have to join Drakon? Will Cobweb and I still have to marry? Then a more terrible, more important question hits me. How'm I gonna get Cobweb? He sleeps in his own den, right next to Drakon and there's no way I can wake him up or sneak into camp. I sit down heavily and almost wail in despair. How could've I have been so stupid? I'm a spoiled rich cat with no where to go. I can hunt and fight, but I could be killed. Easily. These streets are no longer mine. I'm sitting there, cursing myself and feeling horribly sorry for myself when I notice a shadow moving towards me. I scent the air but the scent of blood covers the cat's scent. "Go away." I growl, not looking at it. I can still hear it coming closer. "GO!" I yowl. Nothing happens, then a few minutes later I hear it again. "Are you deaf? Or just stupid!" I snarl, whirling around. "I said-" I stop and gasp. It's Cobweb. "Oh....Oh, hey." I stutter weakly. He laughs and pads forward, gray pelt gleaming in the light. "What's up?" he asks as if nothing's happened. But there's some hurt in his voice. I feel my stomach pitch. Maybe it wasn't just our parents who wanted us to marry. Of course, Cobweb is also known for his easily wounded pride... "I....um..." I shuffle my paws. He grins at me sympathetically. "I heard about your parents kicking you out. That's harsh." "What about our lives isn't?" I sigh. "So...?" he asks. "I....um, I was wondering...if maybe...I mean, if you wouldn't mind...letting me...live with you?" I meow, feeling ashamed and awkward. "I wouldn't mind," he says, and my spirits lift. Then they crash again. "But...Drakon. So...I can't." "Why?" I growl, much more harsh then I meant to. He flinches. "Drakon thinks.....you're a 'bad influence'. He doesn't want us to see each other at all. Anymore." "At all?" I echo in shock. "Yeah." Cobweb sighs. He licks my ear. "I'll try to get away sometime though. But...this is good bye. For now." He licks my ear and I press against him. "Bye Cobweb." He grins. "Chin up Firefly. Our parents can't keep us apart forever." I grin, but as he turns, my head falls down again. I pad away down the alley, feeling a terrible, horrible, awful feeling I've never had before. Abandonment. Chapter 5 - Flashbacks I trudge alongside the roads feeling horrible. Memories of moons and seasons and years of friendship are coursing me and my paws feel like they're rocks. The stars look like snow in the sky and I follow them. :"Tonight the snow falls, '' :''The wind howls :My heart it aches :My paws are cold..." My wavering voice is the only thing that fills the night. My mother taught this song to me and Cobweb what seems like forever ago. It was an old song, for toms coming back from hunting trips in Snow-fall. :"Tonight the snow falls :Freezing drops of starry skies :Clouds part the moon :I'll be home soon." A small amount of snow had started to sprinkle the ground. My eyes watered as a snowflake hit my eyes and as I remembered the last two chorus of the song. :"Tonight the snow falls :The moon is cold :I can barely keep going :But I do, I'm coming home to you." :"Tonight the snow falls :It's freezing out :But the fire is warm and so is your love :I'll be home tonight... :Yes I'll get home tonight.. :For you." I pad on, not really wanting to sing. Not really wanting to stop. I feel like crazy, I think I am. I'll be home tonight... I've been walking for what feels like sky-lengths. My paws feel like their going to fall off and my stomach is an open maw of hunger. I collapse on the side of the road, too exhausted to go on. I close my eyes, a tear tracing it's way into a small pile of snow that my head rests on. Cobweb come save me... He can't. I can't let Drakon hurt him because of me. I wonder if I'll ever be able to get up again. Will this be my deathbed? What would my parents say? What would Cobweb say? I think I'm slipping away when a shadow falls over me. I open my eyes a sliver and slow my breathing so I appear dead. Maybe they'll just go away.... Please go away..''I find myself thinking, ''Just let me die here....I want to die here... "Well what's this?" a tom's deep meow surprises me. It sounds familiar and yet I can't place it. "Half-starved rogue obviously." This sounds like a she-cat. I immediately tense at the arrogance in her tone. "Is she dead?" Another she-cat pipes up. This one sounds young, maybe only 8 moons old. "Don't think so." Another tom. "We should take her back to the others. Jynx, help me." Someone grabs my scruff. I want to struggle, but I have no strength left. Besides, if they turn out friendly I can get some food and sleep. If their not.... Well things can't get worse then the already are, can they? I stay silent and immobile as the unknown cats carry me away. Category:Artimas Hunter's Fanfics